how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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