DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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