ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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