At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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