I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
