I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Everclear isn't food dammit
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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