Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
