Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize