Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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