Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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