wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
