I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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