Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
