My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I need to align my fucking chakras
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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