Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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