I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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