Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
