Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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