omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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