do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
