so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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