You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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