why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
