I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
