thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
