now i know why i became what i already was.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
