This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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