You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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