Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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