Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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