I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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