this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
