When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
