i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
