Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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