belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
