No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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