apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
