Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
