I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
