i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
