are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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