i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
