I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
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my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
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My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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