Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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