whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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