Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
