so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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