Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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