just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
