Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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