i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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