my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
